Broken, defeated, alone and ashamed; how did I get there on that cold hard concrete jail cell floor? Why did I let myself be brought to this point of hopelessness? Lying prostrate in complete despair I cried out to God, "Please help me. I don't want to live this life anymore. I can't carry on without you and without my children" (whom I had let down) and without knowing when or if I would see them again. What was the point in anything?"
I said, "God, please take my life and tell me what to do. I have no will. Please give me purpose and strength. I surrender my life to you."
I had fallen.
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